Happening again though I am trying to cease
but the shouting and growling back and forths
are taking over this lagoon,
this oasis of nothing inside of my head
has become a battlefield
for fear and worry and panic and I
am not just stuck in the middle,
I am the creator and absorber and
I feel powerless.

I am tired and done with this fear,
this coldness that rains down on my skin
and permeates my very bones,
causing them to lock up
at a moments thought of all
the walls I know lurk behind me,
that I am attempting to pass,
yet tendrils stretch the miles
I have journeyed, encasing me in
rope, taut and wound metal that
calcifies, and I am being pulled back.

Please let me change and break free,
I really need to erupt in some kind
of strength and courage,
some mental fortitude that can be
fashioned into the tool
that swipes effortlessly through
my bindings, severing my links
and letting me surge forward
renewed and anew, through
to whatever goal might be waiting.