A Pome a Day for a Year

I am under no illusions,
that this is the other side of the numbers,
with both feet firmly placed across
and no more tentative steps.
Four decades and a little bit of change
and I really cannot remember
if any of the events that brought me here
had been dreams or wishes, or just accidents.

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up,
I still have no idea,
and do not feel grown up.
Surely that will pass one day
amidst all the flailing of existing
but until that time I will continue to potter,
to stumble and bumble and tumble
through weeks, trying to be good
trying to make the world around me
a better place through having me.

When this game fully ends
and if I have left people happier
for having been a part of their world,
then it will be an easy rest.
I do not need the high score,
I would just like to make the board.