What is the deal with airplane food?
You are on an airplane, and they give
you food, but the packets are so small
that you are only eating snacks! How
am I supposed to get full from three
peanuts and a teaspoon of water?

Have you ever been to the doctors?
You know the doctors? The place where
if your arm is falling off or you have
a slight cough, you sit in a room and
wait to be told that they can help you?
Who has the time for that?

What about driving? Have any of you
ever driven a car? Who even knows
how the insides of the car? Mechanics?
Yeah, they say so, but how can a wrench
make an engine turn again? Nuts and
bolts? Yeah! Nuts alright!

What about the park? I like to go to
the park! Lot of trees in the park.
You seen trees before? They have leaves
on them. Who named them leaves? Smart
guy, because in the winter they leave
the branches! Smart person!

Hey, have you ever been in an
auditorium? You know what it is like,
sat in seats while someone sings,
or jokes, or lectures, or performs and
your job is to clap and laugh and ooh,
and sob, and cry? You know that?
Thanks, you have been a wonderful
audience!