I am asking evolution to be kind and not
create a few of these changes I invented,
because they would be pretty grim
and make people even more grumpy
than this weirdy world causes.

A) Please do not put tongues on the feet soles,
because I would not want to taste my feet
or the floor, and good lord, you
could shuffle on them like a millipede?!
I am freaking out a tad at that.

B) Please do not give us gills, even though
breathing in the sea would be neat, I just
worry I would forget which air system to use
and end up having a slight suffocation
at the corner shop.

C) I am quite happy with four limbs, even
though perhaps having a few more arms
would make it easier to carry shopping bags
from the car, but think of all the neat
t-shirts you can now no longer wear,
our poor wardrobes!

D) Speaking of extras, even though eyes in the
back of your head would help to catch miscreants
sneaking up on you, have you considered
that now you cannot lie in bed,
because you would always be seeing the pillows?

E) Metallic bones, like Wolverine, sound smart
but you would set off every detecting device
from here to Debenhams and that is a lot of
paperwork to have to deal with (they have a
three strikes policy and then they get security
to write your name down).

F) Two mouths would be bedlam, as they
would argue over who gets to eat, even though
they both share the same stomach! Just the
singular mouth, it has worked pretty well
all these years and I do not think we require
changes now!

This, for current, is all,
I do not wish for evolution
to get any ideas or formulate worse versions
of the above, just let us please keep on
trucking like the humans we are, and if
we need fins or wings or something,
make sure you plan it out first!