Loch Ness monster? Real. No it is real. I seen it. I seen a picture. I did not actually visit that blue and bountiful haven.
I went to Scotland only once, to visit a friend in Edinburgh, and we ate doughnuts and sat in a park, while he told me about doing biology classes and DNA.
The train journey, for at that point I was still fearful of flying and so 8 hours was a preference compared with 30 minutes, punctuated with a new album that sent my heart into flutters as steel passed open fields and Summer sun blasted onto me alongside the notes of ‘In Space’.
Anyway, Nessie is real. Why would she not be? Oh a tyre and some wood, you might suppose, but I suppose in retaliation!
There are some weird things in the water. Some wacky fish all glowing and monstrous looking. Why could one not live in beautiful Scotland?
Why does it have to be some garbage elaborately shaped into a pleiosaurus? Dinosaurs literally lived and became chickens, surely they could become a chilling and cool aquatic creature living just outside of Inverness?
Flat earth though? Nah – that is too much. The earth is actually inside out. Space is the inside and the world is outside. This is why you should never live in a black hole.