A Pome a Day for a Year

Always wanted to fit in, always tried
to think a different way, or speak 
in terms did not quite get.

Wanted to be in, wanted acceptance,
changed nature to be part of the crowd,
altered thoughts and ignored
the building confusion and dread 
of what would happen.

Do not belong in this world and will never fit.  
Am a shape with more sides than edges,
and these slots will never take form.

Oblivious oblivion to the needs of the loved
and great shame at missing the cues and signs.

If could just put wheels down
on the right track, on the lines leading
to harmony, even for the briefest of minutes
then could start to be capable.

Always out of grasp no matter 
how many flexes the finger furl,
always shrouded in haze, no matter
how wide apart draw eyelids.

Not good, not right, not excuse.
Forge better, force better,
for better and worse.